Therapy

So, due to MDD, I've been going for treatment. It has been 4 years. Last year, I started to go to talk therapy.

And one of the things my therapist teaches me is to note down my feelings by keeping a journal.

Why can't this be it, yeah? 

It's hard to actually start and to keep at it. I have long loss my interest in reading, and my writing is rusty.

So, here's a snippet of today.

My nephew who is actually too big for the cradle already. Such a joy, this little fellow.

2021

It's been years, so this space is a little dusty.

What to tell?

I now have a name for those lows and melancolies I felt for ever so long.

It's called MDD.

I was raised with guilt.

Being made to believe that I am never good enough for anything.

I am in the process of letting all that go.

It's not easy but I would like to believe that it is not impossible.

I deserve my happiness.

I need to get out of all these staleness and negativity.

I need to stop belittling my own intelligence.

I need to stop believing that I have no self-worth.

For a moment, I want to be happy.

I want to have a taste to life, again. And for my death not to be in vain.


I don't want to leave this world not having truly lived.

Not smart, nor beautiful, nor lovable, with no talent.



Inadequate, in every possible way.